Is it discouraging when the people around you don't support your business dreams?
How do you navigate through this lack of support and build a successful venture?
In this episode we discuss the importance of understanding their supposed "lack of support" and how maintain a healthy balance between your personal and professional life.
Remember, you don't need validation from anyone but yourself.
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Welcome to the Wedding CEO podcast, where we discuss all things marketing, sales and scaling so you can become the CEO of your life and business. I'm Elora Wachell and I've been a Wedding photographer for over a decade and now I'm sharing all of my secrets so you can stop sacrificing your time and make more money like a CEO. Hello, ceos, and welcome back to another episode. Today we're going to be talking about what to do when people in your life don't support your business. This is kind of a question I have gotten when people decided to either take the leap or they were terrified to take the leap because they're too worried about what people will think about their new change in content. Then I've also gotten this question when people are on the roadmap to success and people in their life just can't relate and they just sort of feel alone on their journey. I feel like this is one of those episodes where I'm just going to give it to you straight and if you're going through this in your life or you need a mindset shift, I think this episode would have definitely helped me when I decided to finally jump in and go full time. The first thing you have to ask yourself is what exactly are they not supporting in your business? Some people will say, oh, they don't comment on my work or they don't share my stuff, or we know who the real supporters are. It's always the people that you know that don't support you, or it's always your coworkers lifting you up. If you look at it from your friends, if you look at it from their perspective and I even saw a TikTok about this and it went viral a couple of times and it was just funny to me because she was like what does your best friend do for a living? I don't know. She tells me what she does and I still don't know. She'll bring this up, this up, and I'm like you know, as you should, friend, but who are they? If you didn't see it, then you're probably like what is she talking about? But point being is like a lot of times the people in our personal life don't really care or know what we do, and that's kind of fine. You're going to have to learn how to separate the two. I personally like not having people in my life knowing too much what I do, because I personally like to take a break from it. I feel like once I shut down my computer or I'm like done for the day or I'm not posting anything on social media. I want to be able to just not work or talk about work and just let work be work. I mean sure, if something happens and I get featured, I want you to celebrate with me. But if you don't know what it is, that's fine, I'm just excited for myself. It could be a little bit of an insecurity within yourself. Why aren't they supporting me? Am I not doing a good job? And that whole tunnel of never enoughness. It creeps up every now and then, especially when you're diving into something new and you already feel insecure. You just want to have a group of people backing you up, but at the end of the day, you have to come to the soft conclusion of they're not your future customer, are they? I mean, are they, I guess, if you're in the food business or something like that, everybody loves food, everybody will buy food. But if you're a wedding photographer and this person in your life is not your future customer, then why are you so worried about it? Don't worry about them, and it can be anyone, like I said, in your life, people who know, like and trust you, people who have followed you for years, that have absolutely no idea of what you do. And sometimes people will make side comments or say mean things once you start getting successful or more successful than them. And I mean I get it, been there, done that. But I've had to and I wish I had this episode to listen to during that time. But I had to remember not to take things personal. And a lot of times you know, when you are in a place where you're trying to go out on a limb which the world of entrepreneurship. It's just so intimidating, there's so much to do. There's just like you're pretty much hyping yourself up the whole time, like all the time you are your own hype woman, hype man, because nobody's going to check on you and make sure you're doing that thing you're doing. So people in our personal lives don't understand our world, our world within a world. If you think about even your friends, what they do for a living, do you really know in full detail what they do? I mean, can you quiz them on it if they tell you, oh, so and so is doing this or this thing is happening? I still barely know what my husband does for a living. And when I have to explain it to people, I just summarize it with he's an engineer. If I break down the process, they're lost. I'm lost and I feel even more lost because I don't know what my own husband does for a living, and I can't lose my mind if he doesn't know in full detail what I do for a living. It's almost like your work is completely separate from who you are as a person, and I know it's weird because a lot of the times we have a personal brand and our brand starts to become personal. We think that everything is about business or the persona that we create online. We have to live that in real life and maybe personally that for me that sounds exhausting. But I mean, why would you expect all of these things from other people if you don't know the exact same full detail of their lives? Is what I'm saying and seeking validation from people who actually like you for who you are and what you do is different than people who only know you for what you do. That goes back into the point of there's your business and there's your personal life and, like I said, mine are completely different. Like I do show up and my personality on here is real. How I talk to you guys is real. I am a straight shooter in real life. I'm even more of a straight shooter not online. I get to the facts and the points. Asap is possible because I don't like to waste my time. But, needless to say, it's okay to appreciate both in their own separate entities. It's okay to appreciate your friends and family for liking you for who you really are and not what you do, and it's also cool to be appreciated for what you do. It's like they can coexist and they can live in harmony. And anytime something comes up, you can just be like if they're not my ideal client or if they're not my dream customer, then like, why is this getting to me? And that's a question to ask yourself why is this getting to me? Why does this bother me? That's something I do. If I have always have like a mindset thing, if I feel like I'm out of touch with my emotions or I feel really upset about something, I have to ask myself why do I feel like this? And just like, really dive into it and keep asking why, and eventually you're going to come up to the answer and then that will determine what you do from there. So back to my point of most of us have these online personalities, different personas, whatever different sizes of our personalities, and people in your personal life. Just know you every day, typical day, and if you look at my Instagram profile picture, do I dress like that every day? No, I'm literally recording this in my pink cheetah pajamas. That's probably not what I look like on a good day, but I'm not leaving the house for a little bit, so why change on my pajamas? But that's fine, they can exist. It's different, it's okay. Stay encouraged, though, by the friends that you do make in the industry, cause I do feel like that is going to carry you through to success. When people ask, like, what is one thing you really suggest to do when you get started with marketing, I would definitely say is find a group of people that have your back, because the ups and downs of especially the wedding industry is just wild, and if you don't have someone that you can bounce off, that gets it in the industry and just talk to about it, or just hang out and relieve stress, or get off the computer, stop editing for a minute and be with your coworkers, for example. I think that is what carried me through for over a decade of the industry. Now, I was going at it alone for about a good two years and my business didn't actually really skyrocket until I met my little group of people and we started networking, we started making connections, we started sharing each other's information. Even there was photographers in that group and if we weren't available we would just send that wedding that way and half the time they would book because we would really be selling this person. There's no one else I trust and this photographer you're in great hands and they'd be like, okay, will we trust your opinion? Boom, networking can be your biggest net worth ever. It's something that is very underrated and I know that online we have this emphasis on community, but I personally think that community is so much stronger than you think it is. It's not just having a Facebook group to log on to and vent or share your wins or whatever. I do think that meeting in person is such a different thing and dynamic and you just feel like you can relax and, especially if they are in the industry with you, you don't even have to explain anything, you just get it and there's nothing more comforting than that, than not having to explain why you're upset, explain why something bothered you, explain why you're sad a wedding client didn't book. You don't have to explain. They get it like, yeah, they know, that happened to me. Or oh, what date are you available? Because I can send someone your way and fill up your calendar. It's just such a different dynamic. But then also appreciating the personal life where you don't have to dress up nice, you can take off your superhero cloak and just be an everyday human with your real life friends who don't care how much money you make or what magazine you are featured in or any of your accolades. They just life with you. They literally live with you for who you are. After everything is said and done, you're going to need both sides to carry you through, when your personal life, when things are falling through and people who are in the industry or your coworkers won't understand why the death of this friend meant so much to you, because your personal life will understand that and I just think that you need to learn to appreciate both sides and understand that also. Not everything is about you and I tell my daughter this all the time like listen, girl, not everything is about you. Like you need to give a little too. You can't just expect everyone to stop what they're doing and give you full blown attention all the time. You know a six year old. They have a very complicated life, but, you know, maybe that's just girls, I don't know. But point being is, if all of this faded away and, let's say, your Instagram shut down and nobody had a way of getting ahold of you or I don't know, the whole online thing just blew up the online business, the photography business, your emails, nothing works. Your friends and family will still be there. So I think it's okay to like not talk about work all the time around your friends and family, because you know they're not going to get it. Just shut it down. Just shut it down Unless they ask. Then that's usually when I talk about it if people ask. But if people are asking, I'm just going to be relatable, talk about my life, talk about my family, my kids, maybe something that I'm doing for my house or wanting to do. Just don't be so successful that you're unrelatable and people don't want to spend time with you because all you want to talk about is the business it's. I've actually been around people like that where they literally can't turn it off and they want to talk about business all the time and I'm just like. So what do you like to do on the weekend? Like at home in your sweats. What are you like on a daily basis? I don't want to talk about how much money we're projecting or why your career is so suitable. Like what else is there. You know it's a different perspective. You can take it or leave it. You can think that, okay, elora, get off your horse. The people in my personal life need to support me in my business no matter what, and that's totally fine. But if you're open minded to things and thinking about ways to make everything work together and everything has their place, I don't know. I just I believe you're ultimately in charge of the way you think about things and the way they affect you and depending for your thoughts. So little mindset shift, a little episode to think about, to ponder about, and I hope this was helpful. And just remember, you know, sometimes it's just not personal, sometimes people don't get it, and that's okay, but that's why you got to make friends in your industry and you will feel more supported than you ever have in your life and, like I said, your network is your net worth. I will see you in the next episode. Bye, wait, don't go yet If you loved today's episode, I would love if you took five seconds to leave a rating and a five star review. If you do, send me a DM so I can give you a virtual hug and, of course, a shout out. Now, if you're ready to grow your photography business, I invite you to join the waitlist for the wedding CEO. The wedding CEO is my signature program for wedding photographers who are ready to scale their way to 100K. You're finally ready to work less, make more and live your dream life. If you've seen my Instagram, then you'll know we have students making five bigger months, launching their dream brands, doubling their prices, taking vacations and more, which are lifetime skills that you can take with you even if you decide to leave the industry. Join the waitlist for when we open the doors on November 14th to the waitlist only, and you're going to get an exclusive advanced private training on how to scale to 100K, booking less than 20 weddings a year. And, trust me, you don't want to miss this Link in the show notes. See you inside.