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Welcome or welcome back to the podcast. In this episode, we are going to kick off the mindset series with what you guys requested, and it was how to finally get over yourself. And this idea actually came to me as I am in Spring break. My kids are in spring break and I was dropping them off at my mom's house and a thought came to me about how powerful it is to finally get over yourself, get out of your own way, getting over this like self-importance attitude and mindset and then just taking messy, dirty action. So what does something like that look like? In a psychological sense, which is my degree and something I have studied even in high school, because in my high school we got to study career based classes. That's actually how my husband became an engineer because he took engineer classes in high school we had an aviation program. I was in the web design and psychology program. So yeah, love that. Okay. In a psychological sense, the term get over yourself actually means to move past your excessive self-focus, self-pity or perceived sense of importance, and to gain perspective and move forward. And that's pretty much what I'm gonna talk about. And I don't have really any notes. I did voice message myself this. Because I didn't wanna forget it. 'cause my best ideas, I don't know about you, but they always come to me when I'm driving. I don't know why, like the moment I get in the car and I start driving ideas flood, but I never have a good microphone on me. So maybe actually guys, do I need to buy one of those fancy, fuzzy microphones? But would I get pulled over? Can you get a ticket for recording while driving with one hand? I don't know. Sounds dangerous to me. Anyway, this is what I said. Half the time, no one is really thinking about you. I know honestly, it can sound like a good thing and a bad thing, depending on the way of what you're going on in your life right now. It can feel good, but it can also not feel good because maybe you're trying to find meaning in your life and realize that you know you are important and special to someone. Maybe having a self-focus gives us this sense of importance. Oh somebody's thinking about me somewhere, right? So I need to make sure that I look a certain way, act a certain way. But it is very humbling to be like, actually, nobody really cares. Nobody really cares what your outfit looks like. Do you care? This goes even to child psychology Psychologists say that you are not supposed to always tell your kid, great job. Good job. You ask them how they feel about it because it gives them autonomy over their own decisions, and they will not be reliant on others for their own perceived success. I know. And so I have been doing that. I didn't learn this with my daughter, but I learned it with my son, and so every time. That he tells me something, and it could be, I don't know I can't even think of an example, but he's excited about something. I'll be like, that's amazing. How does that make you feel? Or are you proud of yourself? And he'll always say, yes, I'm proud of myself. And so that alone is teaching him to just be proud of himself and not always seek validation. Now they are just children, but I think the little building blocks that you instill in your children at a young age will become the tools that they use as adults. And so I don't want my kids to. Always be reliant on a coach or me as a parent or their friends telling them they're good at something. For them to feel like they're good at it. They should already innately know or be satisfied within themselves and anything they choose to do. And that will definitely apply if they decide to choose the route of entrepreneurship. And so that alone can be a huge shift in your mind being like, if nobody really cares, is there something that you would do differently? If it's true that nobody cares how you dress, how would you really dress? And I'm just saying this because, I'm obviously having to choose outfits for this brand session. Feel free to fill in the blanks. If nobody really cared about the way you run your business, how would you run it? Instead of asking people what you should do, what do you really think you should do? And a lot of times we become addicted to getting feedback, to getting validation, to getting our questions answered, that we're actually not asking the most important question. It's what do you think about that? Do you really think, for example, a lot of photographers want to stay artists and don't want to eventually become an educator, which is fine because they know that I'm actually gonna do weddings and do other photography avenues. And I know regardless of what anybody else tells me on some podcast or YouTube channel, I'm just gonna stay an artist. And I think it's because they have this perceived sense of self and they have this perspective to move forward. It's very clear what it is they want to do, and they're gonna be confident in their decision and they don't have to seek other people to make that decision. And so in what ways can you get over yourself today? For example, like the examples I gave you, like how would you dress? How would you run your business? How would you parent? How would you X, Y, Z if you knew that nobody cared. That nobody's watching because. We all really just care about ourselves. Ultimately, people are thinking about themselves and necessarily which is so funny 'cause we're like, oh my gosh, like I need to be seen this certain way. I need to do this certain thing. I need to do that. And it's but then you have to check yourself and be like why? Is it because I feel like I have to do that? Or is it 'cause I feel like somebody else is watching me and they think that I need to do this thing or I need to succeed. So this certain person gives me their stamp of approval. It really always comes down to and whose hands are you putting the power of your life and maybe even your business into. Are you removing it from your hands and giving it to someone else who probably doesn't hold you to the highest caliber, but maybe you think they do? And ultimately having this sense of self and realizing that you are just important and special as you are but for most people who think that everybody is always watching them, always has an opinion and is scrutinizing every move, everything they do or say, it can be relieving to know that nobody really is thinking about you like that. Because everybody's thinking about themselves, but thinking that everybody is thinking about them is the self-focused part, right? So when I shifted the mindset of nobody really cares, it's not that serious. Get over yourself. That's when I finally took the action. That's when I finally decided to jump off, not knowing if Annette would appear. Not knowing what was gonna happen, right? Not knowing if I was gonna actually spread wings and fly, or if my parachute was gonna break. Sorry me visualizing this is not good. But then again, when you take off all of that excessive thought process that is draining you and keeping you on this, wheel of self pity things actually do work out. And the thing about it is that fear presents itself in so many different ways. I like to call it drama because I think fear actually stems from drama. We make something so big when it's really not, and half the time if we're explaining and complaining and being like I can't do this and I can't do that, then people will agree with us being like, yeah, don't do that. If you're gonna blow your business up or if everything's gonna crumble and fall, then yeah, don't. And I feel like when you make things dramatic, they become dramatic. But if you decide to finally get over yourself and do something scary, do it shaky. Do it with fake bravery. They always say fake it till you make it, but really you're just pushing through the fear because you don't really know what's gonna happen. And that also is what imposter syndrome is claiming something to be real when you have no idea it's gonna be real yet, right? It's okay to play the part, keep it moving, take that first step that's gonna turn into multiple steps and it's actually gonna be the roadmap to building the perfect business. So how to get over yourself, really trim your ego. You're not that important. You know that saying, I'm just a girl really at the end of the day, okay, I'm just a girl. And then also have compassion for yourself. Be nice. Some of the things that we say to ourselves, we would never tell our friends, our family, our kids. So why are you telling yourself that? You're giving yourself your own mental abuse, which is terrible, right? Don't be so critical. Make a mistake, learn the lesson, get up, move on. That's life. Life is messy. Parenthood is messy. Marriage is messy, all of it. Everything about life is messy. So get out there, make a mess, learn the lesson, and keep pushing forward. I think there are two ways that you cannot be successful in life or business is if you never take any action, so you'll never know you'll be in the same place 10 years from now. Complaining, feeling sorry for yourself because you never did anything. You know what? The number one thing. That people talk about when they're at the end of their stage of life is their regret, right? For not taking enough risk, maybe for working too much, and a lot of the time it's not doing enough. So while you're young, flirty and thriving, why don't you get out there, go make some mistakes, go learn your lessons, figure it out, report back later what you learned and now you know for the next time what not to do. The second thing. It is doing too much and never learning the lesson. I think that's called what Hardheaded, but don't be the person who does everything and then never stops to be like, wait a minute, do we like where this ship is going? And are we okay at the rate and the speed? It's going a lot of times, which if you're in the cycle of burnout, you find yourself in autopilot where you're just booking booking, and. You're not raising your prices and you're not learning your lesson, and you're doing all these things and you feel like you're just a hot mess, which is gonna be one of the next lessons we talk about, but nobody wants the hot mess express person. Okay? Take some time for yourself in order to move forward. In order to actually learn the lesson, you do need to pause. And that's a whole nother thing in itself because people who are in the cycle of burnout feel guilty for relaxing. Feel guilty for taking a break. Feel guilty for going on a vacation. Ask me how. I know. Literally, I was in the cycle of burnout for two years too long but. I learned my lesson and the pandemic forced me to learn my lesson, and I haven't looked back since. My boundaries are so tight. If you texted me right now, all aurora's on DND, all aurora's on DND 24 7 and just be mad at me. Now do I check my dms more than my text messages? Of course it's toxic. I dunno. Make it make sense. But how to get over yourself is to stop thinking are so important. To give yourself grace. Don't forget to take some action and get out there, learn your lesson, get messy, okay? And then DM me and tell me if you did any of that, or if you listen to this lesson and it changed your life. Either way, if you have a journal, I think now is the perfect time to journal out how you're feeling and how you're gonna get to the other side. All right, I'll see you in the next episode. Bye.